Some thoughts on feminism, and how to deal with the doubters

I discovered that feminism was a dirty word at the age of twelve. On answering the question posed by a teacher "are you a feminist?" in the affirmative, I was then confronted with, "So, you hate men then?" I didn't understand the question.

Having been raised by a mother who was on the front line of the second wave, I had blithely assumed that feminism was generally associated with the seven virtues, rather than deadly sins. I was entirely flummoxed by the idea that it had to do with hating anyone.

Over the ensuing 16 years I have naturally had some time to formulate a response. This is what I've come up with.

Assuming the principle that attack is the best form of defence, I find that, when confronted by a situation in which the "feminist?" question is likely to arise, it's generally best to get in there first. Once you've posed the query, and received the reply, "Feminist, me? Of course not!" you can go for the jugular.

Adopt a quizzical expression, puzzled yet fascinated. As if examining some strange and rare museum exhibit.

Follow up with: "Really? Wow!" and then: "So, you believe that women were created subservient to men? (it's in the bible and everything.) Girls should not be entitled to receive the same educational opportunites as boys? Pursuing academic enquiry is damaging to the fragile female mind? Women should be paid less than men for work of equal value? Only men should be entitled to vote and take part in the political process? Women should not pursue interests outside the domestic sphere? Women should not own property? The word of a woman ought to carry less weight in a court of law than that of a man? A man has the right to rape his wife - no, sorry, there is no such thing as rape within marriage, obviously. You're not a feminist? How fascinating!"

Maybe it doesn't work, but hopefully it gets people thinking.

Just for the record, here's my personal feminist manifesto:

1. All human beings, regardless of gender, race, disability, sexuality (the list could go on, but I'll stop there) are entitled to equal access to education, politics and protection under the law.
2. Men and women are different. Fundamentally. Genetically, biologically, psychologically. However...
3. ...What unites us is far greater than what divides us. I have a lot more in common with a human man than a female chimp.
4. The fact that men and women are on average different does not predict the talents, abilities, disabilities and shortcomings of any one individual.
5. "Feminine" qualities are as essential to the survival and success of the species as "masculine" ones.

So no, Mr Teacher. In answer to your query, I don't hate men. In fact I love them, in general, and kind of wish I had one to love in particular. This single life's getting tiresome.